Feuding ZANU PF Activists Clash Online Over Who Deserves Arrest First

HARARE — Feuding ZANU PF Activists Clash Online Over Who Deserves Arrest First

By The Village Political Commentator 

Chaos erupted in the ruling ZANU PF party’s online corridors this week after two of its well-known activists, Kudzai Saruwaka and Tafadzwa Chidawa, exchanged verbal blows on social media — each accusing the other of criminal activity and demanding immediate police action.

Zanu PF Activists one loyal to zvigananda faction Chidawa and one loyal to the Hubvanzu hubvanzu kudya kwemhumhi faction Saruwaka fight over who should the captured police arrest first!

The drama began when Saruwaka questioned the legality of MATRIX, an organization reportedly run by Chidawa, which allegedly uses a military-style syllabus designed to “remove the civilian mindset” from ordinary citizens. Saruwaka, in his self-appointed role as digital watchdog, called on @PoliceZimbabwe to “investigate now,” describing the program as “abuse to citizens who didn’t volunteer to join the military.”

His tweet sent shockwaves through ZANU PF social media circles, with party supporters unsure whether to clap, report, or retweet.

Not one to be outdone, Chidawa swiftly replied, instructing Saruwaka to “just go to the nearest police station and file a report.” He accused his rival of being part of a plot funded by “drug lords” and mocked him for “exposing himself too soon.”

Ironically, both men have had brushes with the law before. Chidawa has been arrested multiple times in connection with his controversial MATRIX project, while Saruwaka himself is reportedly on the police wanted list for distributing anti-government flyers. Political observers say it is now a race to see who will be arrested first — or who will tweet about it faster.

Analysts describe the exchange as a glimpse into ZANU PF’s new internal culture, where activists no longer wait for opposition to fight; they simply fight each other online, armed with hashtags and accusations.

“This is the first time in history that ZANU PF members have publicly competed for police attention,” joked one commentator. “It’s like watching two people trying to call 911 on each other using the same phone.”

As the feud rages on, citizens have been left both entertained and bewildered. While the two activists trade insults and arrest threats, the nation continues to wonder who is actually running the show — or if the MATRIX syllabus has already removed everyone’s sense of irony.

Police sources, when asked for comment, reportedly sighed and said, “We’re still trying to figure out which comrade to arrest first.”